A friend of mine is a hopeless romantic. She is always pursuing those that are hurting or in need have love. Added to this, she is the embodiment of the Mercy gift; see Romans 12. Like a giant double whammy.
I don’t think it is a bad combination if the person is saved and the qualities have been redeemed. Otherwise, they just run wild and lead her into trouble, which they do often.
It is like she always sees herself staring in a romantic comedy. The type of movie where the guy/girl is always going after the wrong woman/man and just fails to notice his best friend who is secretly in love with him. Fails to notice until the end of the movie and then you have to hope it isn’t too late even though you know they will end up happily ever after. You probably can guess that she sees herself as that quiet friend who has to suffer silently waiting for her man to realize she is the perfect one. The problem is that is not the part she is playing. In reality, she plays the woman chasing after the wrong man. Chasing after what she thinks she wants instead of what she needs.
I think we all fall into this trap at some point. Not necessarily a romantic comedy, but confused on what role we are supposed to be playing in a relationship. Growing up, we kind of get type cast as a certain person. We can try and break that image, but then we often get way off track.
I don’t think we are ever in a relationship of any kind by accident. From romantic and friendship to customer and service provider, there is always a purpose for us to be there. When we default back to the traditional role that we have always played, we fail to notice the role that God has for us in that relationship.
How do you figure out what role you are supposed to play? You have to ask God who am I in this relationship. If you don’t talk to Him on a regular basis, it might be harder to hear, but He will answer you. He will surprise you often. He will have plans for you to step outside of your comfort zone. There will be roles where you should comfort a suffering person, roles where you will be mentoring, and roles where you will be mentored. The combinations are endless. He does this to grow you and the person you are in relationship with. When you are stagnant, you begin to die. His plan is for you always to grow.
I know you might not like the role He has for you. I find myself in that place at times too. Here is what I know. If you don’t want to do it, He won’t force you to. You have the choice to accept or pass on an opportunity to grow closer to God and possibly help someone out. If you miss out the opportunity, He won’t cast you aside or smote you. The opportunity might come back to you later or it might pass on to someone else, but God isn’t going to stop what is going on while waiting on us to respond to Him.