Hiding Emotional Pain from God


Last week at work I had a small disagreement with some friends. The department they work in was planning on installing some new programs that had been modified to fix a few bugs. I didn’t think they tested the new programs adequately, so I brought it up and they were annoyed. I guess it came off to them that I didn’t have confidence in department and must have seemed like an insult to them. I was able to make them retest a portion of it and it came out that I was right. The kicker is they decided to use the new programs regardless of what I had shown them and they went about it in a manner to ensure that I would not find out about it until it was too late. Since then, the programs have continued to cause errors, but I have resisted the desire to tell them I told you so.

So, I have been annoyed with them since this occurred. I have tried to pray about it for everyone to be blessed and I kept telling God I know it was wrong to be upset, but the annoyance would not go away. Today, it was like God was poking me trying to annoy me. =D So I told Him that I was annoyed and hurt by what they did. I knew I shouldn’t be mad because that isn’t the “Christian” thing to do, but I was. As soon as I said it, it struck me what I had been doing. I have been ignoring my feelings and trying to be righteous when that process of denial was dragging me further away from it.

Why do we get so caught up with what we think we should do, that we try and ignore what is right in front of us?

This happens more with emotional issues than physical. If I cut my finger, I don’t hold my hand behind my back and tell myself I know it is really ok. No, I address and clean the wound. Why is it so hard to treat emotional wounds the same way? It is still a wound. Even if I cant see it, I can feel it.

Maybe it is the pressure that we face trying to put forth our best Jesus face. We are to reflect Jesus to the world, so we should be above such petty issues. The problem is that we still encounter emotional issues that have to be dealt with. Withholding them from God is a pointless process. He already knows and wants us to share it with Him. How else do you get healing until you make Him the God of that issue instead of trying to deal with it yourself?

I would like to say I wont do this again, but I know that I will. I just hope I am quicker to turn it over next time around.

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2 Comments

Filed under Christianity

2 responses to “Hiding Emotional Pain from God

  1. “Maybe it is the pressure that we face trying to put forth our best Jesus face.”

    Exactly! Whenever I come up against something nasty in myself I think, I can’t feel this way, I’m a Christian. So I push it back, but it keeps showing up again. It doesn’t solve anything. I am going to feel that way, but I will DEAL with it differently than the world because I am a Christian. Great post!

    Eden

    • Exactly. How we choose to deal with situations is what sets us apart. If we fail, we try to learn and not repeat the mistake. Being a Christian is not about being a better person. All of the good things that happen are not due to our abilities to be better than someone else. Maybe we lose sight of that as we get caught up in what God is doing

      Thanks

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