A friend of my wife told her that she was going to be a grandmother because her 16 year old son got his girlfriend pregnant. We had warned her they were having sex and would continue to have sex because that is what kids do once they have it. The kids went out and got promise rings and said they were not going to do it again, but now a kid is on the way so the promise ring was a big failure. The mother had her son and hid girlfriend talk to their pastor and the pastor told them that as long as they stayed focused on God, it would all be ok. Now the kids after talking to the pastor think this was all part of God’s master plan for their life in order to make the girl’s life better.
I can understand the kids being stupid and having sex. I can understand the parents wanting to believe the kids that they stopped having sex. I do not understand the load of crap that the pastor fed those kids. Ok, it is not complete crap, but it is not the whole truth either. Yes, God is the great redeemer and can redeem any situation / circumstance. That does not mean it is all better now. There will be struggles as God redeems this situation and makes it better. This is not part of God’s master plan for these kids though. The best God could do is have them and their parents struggle to raise a child who in turn will struggle due to the stupidity of those involved? Here is a quick way God can redeem this, give the child up for adoption and learn from your mistake. Who knows if that will happen, but at least it gives those caught up in this a second chance.
My biggest problem is with the church. This happens a lot in several different areas. The person either does not have the answer or is afraid of hurting someone’s feelings and gives this little fluffy keep your eyes on God message and then the people have to figure out what in the hell they meant. The church needs to grow some balls and step out boldly and say something is wrong and give people real instructions as to how to fix it. Pray with these kids and their parents and provide counseling. Give them real practical information as to the options supported by the church and recommend what ever it is God is saying to do. No one listened to God going into this so might as well start doing it now. Let Him redeem it, but that can only be done by listening to His instructions.
I am really getting tired of this hands off approach that churches are taking in the lives of the people they are supposed to be leading. The leadership is supposed to be tending to the flock of Jesus. If you are tending, you are responsible. You don’t tell someone that they are on a difficult journey and then wish them luck if you are tending to them. You stay with them and help them. The church doesn’t seem like they do this much anymore. I know the staff at churches are busy, but if they are too busy to help those who attend, then maybe the churches efforts are being spent in the wrong areas. That being said, the people who attend the church also need to step up and do what God is asking of them and not restrict their presences in the church to an hour or so on Sundays.