I was molested as a child for 2 years. I was 5 when it started and it ended when my parents divorced and I moved away. I did not really grow up in what you would consider a Christian household. I would go to a Baptist church occasionally when I went to visit my dad and we stayed with his family. I learned some songs there, but never heard the gospel. My mom grew up Methodist, but we only attended on the big holidays. In fact, I only remember the outside of that church. When my parents married again, they decided to go to church and be “good” people. I still never heard the gospel or any mention of Jesus. I guess the churches thought you must already know it if you show up and attend. I went through commencement at 13, which was supposed to mean I was accountable for my own salvation. Still had no ideal what salvation was or anything about the cross. The only thing I saw at the church, was the hypocrisy of those who claimed Jesus. I rejected God and was an atheist before I could drive.
I was not a real humanitarian atheist though. I still don’t get the point of wanting to help your fellow man in order to sustain the race. That mindset just did not sit with me. I care about people now, but I really could care less back then. It is hard to articulate the fact that I just could not find a reason to justify it. There was no way I would lay my life down for someone else. Altruism was not even possible for me. And why do it? You might help the human race survive? I doubt I would have made a large enough dent in humanity by caring. Besides, those who would have been lost were the weak and that is the natural order of things. Regardless, I was my own god and in control of my own life.
My issue with it was I could never shake the feeling that there needed to be more out there. Every religion has a some higher power. Agnostics feel like there is something else. I guess when I quit hating God so much, I was opened up to looking for more out there. Not God, or at least the Christian God, but there had to be more out there. I ended up with Wiccan. I have looked at many different religions, but Wicca felt right. It was self empowering and there was a purpose to life. In an attempt to move to be a better person, I started dabbling in guardian angels. I have referred to it as “angelic magic” but it was really about contacting and interacting with spiritual entities. The farther I pursued it, the darker my life had turned. I finally got to a place where I could no longer deny the existence of God.
I am not politically correct nor am I a rank and file conservative. I do not tolerate the hypocrisy from among Christians and will point it out. I will do so in a loving way, but I will not tolerate it in my life. I consider it one of the greatest difficulties faced by the church today. I also do not just believe what I am told and hold it to be true. I want to see it for myself. If I can not come to the same conclusion then I will disagree. I value your opinion and hope to be held accountable for my words and actions.
I tend toward the charismatic movement. I truly believe the gifts of the spirit are still active today. I have seen no reason for them to have stopped other that people denying them. If you deny the Holy Spirit from moving in your life, He is not going to move in your life. That is common sense to me.
I am currently pursuing a degree in Religion from a Baptist University. I read a lot of books on various topics. I feel drawn toward the topic of Soteriology, which is the study of Salvation. I do not think it is understood by the modern church and you will see a lot of my posts reflecting that.
The majority of the verses that I quote here are either from the ESV or ISV Bible. I like the readability of the CEV and NLT and have been using the NET more for daily reading on my phone. I have several printed bibles and always looking for more, but with technology, I end up using the YouVersion Bible for the iPhone most often as well as e-Sword, Logos, and Bible Works software on my computers.
The mission statement for this blog and my personal life is best summed up by Jesus:
Then Jesus came up and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, as you go, disciple all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you each and every day until the end of the age.” (Mat 28:18-20)
POSTING and COMMENTS:
As far as posting, I will post what I feel like. Usually it is what God puts on my heart, but more than once I have stepped out on my own and written from my own desires. Feel free to comment. I try not to censor any comments, but will not tolerate for direct attacks on others or myself. No threats of violence and please watch the language. If I feel like the discussion can go no further because of an unwillingness to give, then I will stop it and withdraw. No need in arguing with a fool. I might be the fool, so don’t take it personal.