Healing the Sexually Abused

I think one of the most talked about topics here is about sexual immorality. I probably get more into discussions about homosexuality, but that is more out of the misuse of biblical texts that it being a significant factor in my life. For me, there is more of a need for the church to address premarital sex and sexual abuse and people who need to be ministered to.

I love my mom, but she still cannot hear about the abuse I went through as a child. I know many other survivors of molestation who have similar stories and, at least for me, there is still a sense of being isolated because of that. I have shared my story with men and women alike and despite the initial uncertainty on how my story will be received; I am still surprised to see how many are able to relate to what I am saying. There is the shame that we carry around over an abuse that happened to us. I think more of it is that most people do not know how to relate or even respond so they reject us as a defense mechanism.

Because of my past and the burden on my heart for these people, I have taken more of an interest into ministries that want to reach out to these people and help. Sex trafficking is a big issue, but sometimes I am afraid that it overshadows the other people who are hurt as a result of immorality.

Recently, I stumbled upon the Treasures website which is more geared to women who are in the sex industry and helping to lead them out of that lifestyle. I have one friend that defends these women’s right to do what they want, which I agree with, but he fails to see how damaging the lifestyle truly is. If you have never worked in the sex industry, you most likely do not have a good idea of what it is like.

Well, I was reading someone’s blog post and saw a link to an article written by Crissy Moran. Interested in what it had to say, I followed the link and read her story. It is sad to say the least. I have listened to her story as well and just hearing the pain in her voice will move your heart. You can find her story here and listen to an interview here.

Take some time and go to Treasures and read the stories of these women. These women need support, love and encouragement as they take a stand against this lifestyle and serve as hopes and role models to the women they are trying to lead out of the life.

I am going to try and start writing more about what I have gone through and the stories of others who have shared with me. People need to know they are not alone with their pain. That is what Christ wants from us. We need to take a stance and share the pain and the deliverance we received.

I think God for Crissy and the other people who are taking a stand against this darkness and have the courage to respond and reach out to others.

Loneliness and Hurt in the Pursuit of Others

I have a friend who the other day posted “what is the punch line” on facebook. See this friend has been going through a trying year and is struggling to understand.

Her husband left her a year ago for a woman he met while playing World of Warcraft. He would stay up late at night playing while she slept since he did not work due to a disability. This came as a complete surprise to her, but I had been warning her about monitoring his activities. I used to be an avid gamer and I understand what happens when you play solo like that late at night. It is something I have done, so I warned her based on my own experiences and a hunch. I am sorry that I was correct in this.

Well, he refused to file for divorce as he did not want to spend the money, so he fled to Louisiana to live with his parents and play his games. She did not want to file at first while trying to be obedient to God, but it finally came down to where she could no longer handle the thought of being married to a man who was treating her the way he was. It took awhile be they were finally divorced.

During the divorce process, she reconnected with old friends on facebook. One of the friends was an old high school boyfriend who wanted to reconnect and start talking again. Things proceeded slowly, then the compliments came and which were eventually followed by the nekkid pictures. Her old boyfriend was married and living in Maryland, but he wanted to carry out a sexting relationship long distance. She, being lonely and unsure of herself, followed along with the arrangement for awhile but then quit due to conviction and guilt. The man would not give up however and the pictures kept coming until another friend blocked the number for her.

This new male friend was dating a woman who was having issues with pills and theft. Both my friend and her friend began hanging out innocently enough talking and encouraging each other until he started making some of the same comments as the guy from Maryland had made. Still being lonely, she gave in to the physical draw and the two proceeded to become intimate, but something stopped them before they actually had sex. The next week the friend sent her a text to let her know that he was going to marry the girlfriend and wanted her help to get his parents on board.

This punch line that she is wanting is the reasoning behind the emotional struggles she has been having. She is wanting God to explain why this is happening and to set her free from this process of emotional struggles. I told her the punch line is that she needs to stop searching for love and a sense of belonging through other people and focus on God first.

I see this happen with so many friends where they are so desperate to find a mate and they do not understand why they keep finding people who will use them. As a Christian, we should seek God first. I know it doesn’t seem fair to be alone, but we were never promised to have a mate. Fair is not the issue. Focusing on God is the issue. It is a sad state of being, but I understand it after having gone through it in the past. Patience seems hard at times when I get frustrated after having to repeat myself, but I guess it all takes a different amount of time to connect with the reality of God.