Tag Archives: Judgemental

Sex and Love Due to Past Hurts

I suppose valentine’s day is the best day to write this.

According to PETA’s new ad, If you stop eating meat you will become a better lover. I think that is a bit of an over exaggeration, but it is great sign of the times that sex can help sell a Vegan lifestyle. If sex can’t sell it, it doesn’t need to be sold. Sex is not the main focus of my post though. Well maybe it is.

I have written about a friend’s sinful relationship before here. Even though I am friends with both people, I still have issues with their relationship. To me and from my point of view, it is wrong for them to be together. Scripturally, he is committing adultery with this girl and they do not seem to care. That or they are good at repressing it.

The other day, she was posting about abortion on her Facebook page and stated it was murder. One of her friends took offense to that and sent her an email saying that she was a judgmental person and should be ashamed. Of course the girl was hurt and took offense to being called judgmental. When we talked about it, I was not completely on her side. I agree with her that abortion is wrong, but I do not think her approach in dealing with it is the most productive. Her stance is that it is murder and saying anything else is watering it down. My stance was that you need to be more merciful to people, especially those who have had abortions and need to deal with it. It isn’t about saying it isn’t a sin. It is about reaching out to them in love and then telling them about forgiveness. The approach of Jesus.

Well, to help her understand my point, I alluded to the point that if you want to take a harsh stance against sin like that, it really needed to occur for all sins. Like the sin of having sex before marriage. Well, this truly offended her and she could not believe that I, of all people, would say this harsh and mean thing to her. I apologized for hurting her feelings, but I made the point of showing the correlation. You can not expect people to get over you calling them a murder when you take offense for someone pointing out your own sin relationship. I didn’t even push the point that they were technically committing adultery because I thought that might be too harsh.

I have a knack for saying things that get to the heart of the sin and it brings conviction on them. My gift from God.

I honestly feel bad for her that she refuses to see what is wrong with her relationship, according to the Bible, and continues on despite what she believes in. She has been so lonely from her past failed marriage, that she is pursuing this because it makes her feel good. Her now ex-husband has cheated on her in the past and been emotionally abusive. She has been craving that loving feeling for a long time, but there are times in her that I see where the love of God doesn’t seem to be enough for her. Maybe it is fear. She should have known not to become involved with a married man. She should know that it is wrong to have sex with him. She should know, but she is focusing on the fact that she has felt so unloved by those close to her, that she is unwilling to let go of a cheap substitute for what she needs.

I worry about her ability for future service to God, as I honestly think this unrepented sin will cause future issues. I will keep reminding her though and try my best to love her through the process. In the end though, it is something for her and God to resolve.

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A “little” Judgmental

was driving back to lunch today when I was passed by several cars. I was driving 65 in a 60, so I know these cars were going faster then that. I caught myself saying I hope they don’t get a ticket when I realized that really wasn’t true. I knew I should want that. Who really wants to wish harm or ill will on a person for passing them in traffic. I feel like even though I was breaking the law / rules, they were breaking them worse then I was so they should get caught.

How often do we do this with others and sin?

I don’t think that I am a judgmental person. Usually, people can tell me anything and there is never a comparison that goes on as to if they are worse sinners then I am. I usually feel sorrow as I understand some of the suffering they are going through.

What is the difference between how much we are breaking the law? Human nature, we rate things in degree of seriousness. Slightly speeding is more likely to get a warning then a ticket. Regardless of the punishment, the act is wrong none the less. Sitting here writing this, I get the questions “Am I wanting the other person to get caught so I won’t”? Holy Spirit inspired question, of course, so the answer must be yes. That is why we judge others right, so our own sins are not seen. Just because I don’t do it on the “big” things, I have tried to deny / kept hidden the small sins and that judgmental spirit has had a field day.

Lesson learned today. Not the only, but definitely an important one

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