Tag Archives: Offense

Offending Others to Stumble

I have been busy looking for a new church home due to some issues that have come up with the leadership.

It is hard to find a place you fit in and one that clicks with what you believe, but when you need to leave you need to leave.

The issue that caused the break was between the head pastor and my wife.  Now he is a good pastor and a wonderful teacher, but he started a separate ministry from the church that took up a great deal of his time.  It took up so much time that he needed someone else to step in as head pastor.  From what I understand of the situation, he basically told the elder board that he needed someone else to lead the church while he built the ministry or he was gone for good.  The board went along with the request and we got a new head pastor.

Now the new head pastor had several leadership issues that he struggled with and the struggle caused a rift in the church.  The new head pastor did do some good things while in the church, but the damage was far too great for him to remain the head pastor.  He stepped down and the old head pastor came back.  He apologized for leaving and the hurt that was caused with the last head pastor and promised to never leave again.

The problem with that is that he did once again step down and the elder body raised up the second pastor and made him the lead.  Once again he had issues with leadership styles and the church was hurt again.  When they replaced the new head pastor this time, several who were loyal to him left while the old pastor came back.  This is where my wife took offense.

In her mind, when he promised not to leave again and then did so, he broke her trust and she took offense at that.  This is something that she struggles to forgive, but I have faith that the forgiveness will occur.  Her lack of trust is not limited to the head pastor but the elder body as well.  They are the ones who are charged with guiding the church, yet they made big mistakes that seemed contrary to what God desired.  If they are not listening to God to make their decisions, can we truly trust them to lead the church in the direction that God has deemed appropriate?

What I have struggled with in my thoughts is that even though it is wrong for my wife to not forgive the head pastor, I wondered if he held any responsibility for the hurt that he caused.

“But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a huge millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the open sea. Woe to the world because of stumbling blocks! It is necessary that stumbling blocks come, but woe to the person through whom they come.  (Mat 18:6-7)

With the recent issue with George Zimmerman being found not guilty of breaking the law in the State of Florida, there was a huge backlash because we all knew he was guilty of contributing to the situation.  If  he never would have followed Trayvon, then the events most likely would not have gone the way that they did.  In the same way, if the head pastor had not broken his word to pursue his other ministry, my wife would not have felt betrayed by him or the church.  It is my wife’s choice to be offended and her choice to not forgive, but he still had a part in her actions.

I wonder how many of us have played a part of some sort in the stumbling of a person.  How many times have our words or actions fallen short of the glory of God and caused an offense to occur with someone else?

When we look at the current state of the Church and the departure by those in the millennial generation, is there a chance that our action or reaction to some social issue contribute to them leaving?

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Not Wanting to Offend you to Hell

The other day, one of my Facebook friends posted a message about their faith.

They wanted others to know that they were a Christian but had friends who did not believe and they were ok with that.  They did not want to “judge” their friends or their beliefs.  Her posting stirred me up as I have seen way too much of this before.

I tried to be polite in asking of they felt that their beliefs were the only “correct” just to see how far their tolerance went.  The response was that it was correct for them and maybe not for others.  Curious, I pushed a little further and asked if Jesus was the only way to heaven.  The response was that it was for God to decide.

If you cannot stand behind a basic principle of Christianity, then chances are you are not really a Christian.

You might go to church and pray.  It is very possible that you read the Bible and do all of the things that Christians do, yet you are lacking being a Christian if you do not feel that Jesus is the only way.  If there is another way, why would Jesus have to die?  It makes no sense.

No I know many people who do not believe.  I would like to say it is ok, because I do not want to offend them, but I cannot honestly answer that way.  For me, I care too much for you to be ok with you going to hell, simply because I did not want to offend you.

My friends who are not Christians understand this and are ok with it.  They honestly see me as caring for them in my insistence of the need for Christ.  If my faith said that there was only one door but I refused to tell you about the door, how much can I really care for you?  By not wanting to offend you, I am sealing your fate.

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