Tag Archives: Sex

Christians Who Fail to Do

I have been away from this blog for a little while now and I am finally starting to feel the draw to come back and write.  I believe I have stated before that Christians have a responsibility to share aspects of their lives with other Christians in order to help them know they are not alone in their struggles.  The biggest struggle I have been dealing with is “not wanting to”.

There is not a person alive who can honestly say they have never not wanted to do something.  Whether it be going to see family or going to work, there are activities that we just do not want to do.

Often we will end up doing the activity, as there can be negative consequences if we do not, but there are many activities that we do not perform, simply because we do not want to.

When was the last time you saw a homeless person on the side of the road looking for money?  Did you avert your eyes as not to make eye contact with the person as you drove by?  Did you justify to yourself that they were most likely going to use the money to buy alcohol so you were doing them a favor by not giving them money?  Perhaps it was another excuse, like you wanted to help out but all you had was a twenty or larger.

Last month, I had a friend who has struggled with trying to remain celibate approach me to say they were going to hook up with an old friend and have sex.  I asked her if she was wanting me to talk her out of it and she reply “No, unless you feel moved to do so”.

How many times have we put that condition out to God?

God, if you don’t want me to do X, send a sign.  Otherwise I will assume it is ok.

It doesn’t matter that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Bible speaks against something and we will struggle with incredible guilt, we want to do what ever it is.  It is the simple truth Christians often ignore, but we want to do things that feel good at the time.

At the time, I did not feel like going back through the speech about how bad she would feel after she had sex or God wants better for her than simple physical pleasure.  I honestly did not want to have to muster the emotion strength to do it again, so I didn’t.

I told her that she already knows that would be said and that she should honestly do what she wanted to do.  Christianity should be based on the voluntary submission to God and not the forced compulsion that usually comes from guilt and shame.  She did not end up having sex as the guy disappeared, but she was not saved from the shame based on my action.  Maybe my inaction allowed for God to demonstrate His power by making the temptation go away.

Regardless of what the outcome was, I did not feel like doing what I was supposed to do.  I did not feel like being emotionally supportive to her during her struggle and I often wonder what kind of guilt I would have shared in based not on her actions, but my lack of action.

I want to share more stories like this, as everyday life is where people are struggling.

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Sex and Love Due to Past Hurts

I suppose valentine’s day is the best day to write this.

According to PETA’s new ad, If you stop eating meat you will become a better lover. I think that is a bit of an over exaggeration, but it is great sign of the times that sex can help sell a Vegan lifestyle. If sex can’t sell it, it doesn’t need to be sold. Sex is not the main focus of my post though. Well maybe it is.

I have written about a friend’s sinful relationship before here. Even though I am friends with both people, I still have issues with their relationship. To me and from my point of view, it is wrong for them to be together. Scripturally, he is committing adultery with this girl and they do not seem to care. That or they are good at repressing it.

The other day, she was posting about abortion on her Facebook page and stated it was murder. One of her friends took offense to that and sent her an email saying that she was a judgmental person and should be ashamed. Of course the girl was hurt and took offense to being called judgmental. When we talked about it, I was not completely on her side. I agree with her that abortion is wrong, but I do not think her approach in dealing with it is the most productive. Her stance is that it is murder and saying anything else is watering it down. My stance was that you need to be more merciful to people, especially those who have had abortions and need to deal with it. It isn’t about saying it isn’t a sin. It is about reaching out to them in love and then telling them about forgiveness. The approach of Jesus.

Well, to help her understand my point, I alluded to the point that if you want to take a harsh stance against sin like that, it really needed to occur for all sins. Like the sin of having sex before marriage. Well, this truly offended her and she could not believe that I, of all people, would say this harsh and mean thing to her. I apologized for hurting her feelings, but I made the point of showing the correlation. You can not expect people to get over you calling them a murder when you take offense for someone pointing out your own sin relationship. I didn’t even push the point that they were technically committing adultery because I thought that might be too harsh.

I have a knack for saying things that get to the heart of the sin and it brings conviction on them. My gift from God.

I honestly feel bad for her that she refuses to see what is wrong with her relationship, according to the Bible, and continues on despite what she believes in. She has been so lonely from her past failed marriage, that she is pursuing this because it makes her feel good. Her now ex-husband has cheated on her in the past and been emotionally abusive. She has been craving that loving feeling for a long time, but there are times in her that I see where the love of God doesn’t seem to be enough for her. Maybe it is fear. She should have known not to become involved with a married man. She should know that it is wrong to have sex with him. She should know, but she is focusing on the fact that she has felt so unloved by those close to her, that she is unwilling to let go of a cheap substitute for what she needs.

I worry about her ability for future service to God, as I honestly think this unrepented sin will cause future issues. I will keep reminding her though and try my best to love her through the process. In the end though, it is something for her and God to resolve.

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